I hate the fact that only you know how to tickle me.
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.
What I do know is that I miss you, but that I’m surviving. What I do know is that know when the memories come and pull be back to when you were by my side, I no longer have to bite my tongue to hold back tears. What I do know is that it’s all of these little things in my life–a red light, a place we used to sit, a thought I wish I could share– all of these little things are how I hold onto you. I don’t know if holding onto the memory of you is a good thing, but I do know that I’m going to do it. What I do know is that I love you more than any other man I’ve ever met, and that I wish you the best.
Why does this life have to be so complicated? Is it because without complication life would be boring? I think so. Why all these problems seem to never have an end and when they do immediately after a new one pops up? In this last year I learned that the more you think in your head and imagine stuff that “may happen” the more they don’t. People say it's karma. I dont believe that stuff. I believe a lot in DESTINY. I believe that every person has a story written for her with all the good and bad stuff to happen to her through the years which will make her the person she deserves to be. Every body has moments of doubt in their love life. Everybody sometimes feels down, not falling in love or has a secret crush who does not feel the same way back. Everybody feels these things. However, I believe that once you're determined and you know what you want in your life, someday or another it will happen. Maybe not in the form you wanted in the first place, but I still believe that it will happen.
You’ve said hi to me, and we’ve had two short conversations. You probably don’t really know me or even think twice about me. But there’s something about you that I can’t stop thinking about and it makes me want Stats class to be every day. Please tell me you’re single, not gay, and perhaps may want to ask me on a date.
I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means? You are alive. Everything will be okay.
